The Care Factor
Connect first, learn what actually drives someone, then push them with that lever.
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~weeks to results
- Steps
- 6
- Confidence
- 60%
The Care Factor is Mateen Cleaves's operating method for leading people at UWM's 7,500-person campus. The mechanism is sequential: connect genuinely with someone first, because without trust they won't listen to advice regardless of how good it is. Once connected, learn what's actually happening in their life — family, goals, pressures — because that reveals their real motivator (providing for family, earning their own path, growth, status). From there, tailor how you push them using that specific lever instead of a one-size-fits-all pitch. The loop closes by staying present outside the formal setting: calling on a weekend, noticing when someone's face says they're not okay, treating the relationship as family rather than a job function. The payoff is bidirectional — the leader gets genuine influence, and gets personal satisfaction watching people they've invested in grow.
Origin
Extracted from Coffeez for Closers
Core principles
- 01Trust has to precede influence — advice lands only after connection is real
- 02Every person has a different lever; generic incentives motivate no one specifically
- 03People will hand you their own instruction manual if you get to know them
- 04Genuine care has to be consistent outside formal settings, not just during reviews
- 05Coming in as a title or a celebrity blocks connection; coming in as family builds it
How to run it
- 1
Connect before you coach
Build genuine rapport with the person before offering any feedback or direction. Without trust, advice — however correct — won't be heard.
Pro tip Show up without your title or past accolades attached; let the connection be person-to-person.
Watch out Skipping this step and leading with authority or credentials shuts people down instead of opening them up.
- 2
Learn what's happening in their life outside work
Ask about family, goals, what they're chasing. This is where their real motivator surfaces.
Pro tip Notice details — who their significant other is, what they like — and remember them; it signals the care is real.
- 3
Identify their specific lever
Determine what actually drives this person: money to provide for family, a trip they want to take, proving themselves independently, or something else entirely.
Watch out Assuming everyone is motivated by the same thing (money, title, praise) misses the actual lever.
- 4
Push using that lever, not a generic one
Frame coaching and challenges around the motivator you identified so the push feels relevant and personal rather than boilerplate.
- 5
Stay present outside formal settings
Check in on weekends, notice when someone's demeanor is off, and follow up even when it's not required. This is what separates real care from a scheduled 1:1.
Pro tip A short 'how you doing' call on a Saturday does more for trust than a formal review.
- 6
Treat the relationship as family, not a transaction
Frame yourself as someone who cares about the whole person, not just their output, and let that framing guide every interaction.
Watch out Reverting to purely transactional check-ins erodes the trust built in earlier steps.
In the wild
Cleaves describes being able to look at someone's face on the UWM campus, know they're not actually 'all right' even when they say they are, and pull them into a room to talk it through — because the earlier connection gave him the standing to notice and to ask.
→ Team members open up honestly because the relationship was already established before the crisis moment.
Cleaves says he'll sometimes call someone on a weekend just to ask how they're doing, even though they last met on a Thursday, framing it as 'we are family here' rather than a work obligation.
→ Reinforces that the care is ongoing and not limited to office hours, deepening trust and receptiveness to coaching.
Common mistakes
Leading with your title or past success
Cleaves explicitly avoided coming in 'as a celebrity' from his NBA career, because leading with status blocks the genuine connection the method depends on.
Treating check-ins as a formality
If the outside-work contact only happens because it's scheduled, it reads as performative rather than as real care, and the trust payoff doesn't materialize.
Is it for you?
Best for
Managers, coaches, or team leads who see the same people regularly and want real buy-in rather than compliance.
Not ideal for
One-off transactional interactions where there's no ongoing relationship to build.
From the transcript
“you have to connect because if they don't trust you then they're not going to listen to your advice”
“if you care about that person that you're leading and kind of dive into them and get to know them then they'll tell you they'll…”
“sometimes I might be calling on the weekend and on a Saturday and say hey hey man how you doing, I know we met Thursday…”
From the episode
How to Lead to Victory ft. Mateen Cleaves
Mateen Cleaves