Conde rejects the label of toxic masculinity and argues that men should lead their households as protectors and providers, a view presented as his own. When asked how public leaders can avoid being offensive, he says masculinity should be part of a person's character rather than a performance, and points to directness, control, articulation, and finesse instead of aggression.

He disputes the concept of toxic masculinity
He believes a man should lead his household
He says leadership should combine love and tenderness with conviction and power
He distinguishes masculinity from intentional performance
He favors controlled, direct, and articulate conduct over screaming or aggression

“I don't think that you express your masculinity intentionally. Okay. I think that it becomes part of who you are.”
Rafa J. Conde · 24:00

“he was very poignant in the way that he spoke, very direct, very articulate.”
Rafa J. Conde · 25:00

#masculinity#leadership#family#communication

Hot Take28:00

Joe Shalaby's Provocative Reading of California and the LA Fires

Shalaby contrasts conservative Newport Beach with his view of California as a broadly liberal and confused state. He goes further by saying he personally views the Los Angeles fires as divine intervention intended to wake the city up; Conde reacts to the devastation and later discusses friends who live in the region.

Shalaby describes Newport Beach and Orange County as politically distinct from Los Angeles
He criticizes California's labor rules, taxes, and liberal politics
He explicitly frames the fires as divine intervention in his personal view
Conde calls the situation sad and mentions friends in Southern California
The interpretation is a religious and political opinion, not an established cause of the fires

“I personally feel that the fires that happened in LA were divine intervention to wake LA up.”
Joe Shalaby · 29:30

“The political environment is lousy.”
Rafa J. Conde · 31:30

#california#politics#los-angeles-fires#religion

Story· 5

Story01:00

Why Rafa Conde Left Wall Street for a $38,000 Police Salary

Conde says the service of police officers and firefighters during 9/11 prompted him to reconsider a nearly decade-long Wall Street career. With his wife pregnant and their marriage still new, he pursued police work because he wanted a higher purpose and believed the change would transform him.

He had worked as a stockbroker for almost a decade
The response of first responders during 9/11 became his catalyst
He discussed the life change with his pregnant wife
He joined the Riviera Beach Police Department
He later spent much of an 18-and-a-half-year career in undercover narcotics

“I want to serve for a greater purpose.”
Rafa J. Conde · 01:30

“I need to do something that will really change lives that will change my life.”
Rafa J. Conde · 02:00

#wall-street#law-enforcement#service#career-change

Story05:30

The Repossession Call That Exposed Conde's Financial Collapse

Conde clarifies that leaving Wall Street did not simply mean downsizing: his house went into foreclosure and his cars were repossessed. While he was on patrol, his wife called to report that her car had disappeared from Starbucks, and he realized it had been taken because he could not make the payments.

He moved from substantial Wall Street income to a police salary
His home was lost in foreclosure
His cars were repossessed
His wife was holding their baby when she discovered the missing car
He describes the period as embarrassing and shameful but ultimately powerful

“I actually lost them in foreclosure. I lost my cars and um you know, repossessions.”
Rafa J. Conde · 06:00

“I don't think I would be the man that I am today if I didn't go through that.”
Rafa J. Conde · 07:00

#financial-loss#foreclosure#family#transition

Story10:00

The Violent Encounters That Made Police Work Real for Conde

Conde recounts holding a dying young man's head after a drive-by shooting and being the final person the victim saw. He also describes gunfights, nighttime chases, and fighting an armed man while backup remained minutes away, reflecting that his rookie energy led him into risks he would not take again.

He responded to a fatal drive-by shooting
He says he was the last person the young victim saw
His career included gunfights and nighttime foot chases
He fought an armed man while waiting for backup
He now regards some of his rookie actions as reckless

“I'm the last person that he ever sees before he dies.”
Rafa J. Conde · 10:30

“I did a lot of stupid things as a rookie”
Rafa J. Conde · 11:00

#policing#violence#trauma#risk

Story12:00

How Police-Academy Observations Led Conde to Build Man of War

Conde says his experience teaching firearms and other high-liability subjects at a police academy made him question whether young male recruits retained a warrior spirit. He started the Man of War podcast in 2017, developed a philosophy centered on discipline, a code, resilience, strong peers, and command presence, and later expanded it into programs and a book.

He taught at a police academy and enjoyed giving back
He believed many incoming male recruits lacked discipline and edge
He launched the Man of War podcast in 2017
His philosophy emphasizes a warrior spirit rather than masculinity alone
The work expanded into coaching, business leadership, and a book

“So I started a podcast, Man of War podcast, and this is back in 2017.”
Rafa J. Conde · 13:00

“it was more about the warrior spirit rather than masculinity.”
Rafa J. Conde · 15:30

#man-of-war#warrior-spirit#discipline#coaching

Story35:00

Joe Shalaby on Coptic Faith, Persecution, and Service

Shalaby says he is Coptic Orthodox and came to the United States through religious asylum because Copts were persecuted in Egypt. He explains that he has spoken publicly about his Christianity and frames his purpose as service, saying resources create a responsibility to give back.

He identifies as Coptic Orthodox
He says religious persecution in Egypt led to his family's asylum in America
He has been vocal publicly about being Christian
He describes service as his reason for existing
He believes receiving more creates a duty to give more

“I'm Coptic Orthodox.”
Joe Shalaby · 35:00

“The more God gives, the more I have to give back.”
Joe Shalaby · 36:00

#coptic-orthodox#religious-asylum#service#faith

Q&A· 1

Q&A38:00

Conde's Goals: One Million Men, Family Travel, and Europe

Asked for personal, family, and business goals, Conde says he wants to connect with and change the lives of one million men. He hopes to see his son finish law school, travel the world with his wife as their children become independent, and expand Man of War from Latin America into Europe over the next three years.

His personal goal is to connect with one million men
He wants his son to finish law school
His daughter is approaching her teenage and high-school years
He and his wife want to spend a few months traveling the world
Man of War is expanding from Latin America toward Europe

“I want to reach a million. That is my goal to actually change lives and connect with a million men.”
Rafa J. Conde · 38:00

“the next step now we're moving into Europe.”
Rafa J. Conde · 39:30

#goals#family#travel#international-expansion

Takeaway· 3

Takeaway08:00

Why Market Pressure Made Conde Question His Wall Street Ethics

Conde says unstable markets and the need to earn commissions for his family began to wear on him and raise ethical questions about moving money. He also felt insufficiently tested despite years in martial arts, and viewed police work as a path toward becoming the man he believed he could be.

Market volatility made commission income unpredictable
Family financial pressure intensified his discomfort
He says the situation led him to question his ethics
Martial-arts training had not given him the real-life test he sought
He believed police work would change him

“you get to the point where you question right your ethics”
Rafa J. Conde · 08:30

“it was going to help me become really the man that I felt that I could be”
Rafa J. Conde · 09:00

#ethics#wall-street#purpose#identity

Takeaway34:00

Why Conde Says Faith Is Everything in His Life

Conde says his Christian faith is central to his life, noting that his wife and father-in-law are pastors. He describes prayer and closeness to God as priorities and credits God for material blessings and positive experiences rather than treating them as solely his achievements.

His wife is a pastor
His father-in-law is also a pastor
He says he gets on his knees to pray
He seeks to connect himself as closely to God as possible
He gives God the glory for his blessings

“I'll get down on my knees and I'll pray.”
Rafa J. Conde · 34:30

“all the glory goes to God.”
Rafa J. Conde · 34:30

#faith#christianity#gratitude#family

Takeaway40:00

What Conde Hopes God Will Say at the Pearly Gates

Conde imagines God recognizing a life lived with conviction despite repeated mistakes. He says he is far from perfect but believes his heart and life have been oriented toward honoring his savior.

He expects his mistakes to be acknowledged
He hopes conviction will define how his life is remembered
He does not claim personal perfection
He says honoring his savior has been the purpose of his life

“you've been a man who lives with great conviction.”
Rafa J. Conde · 40:00

“Not perfect in any way, shape, or form. Very far from it, but my life has been to honor my savior.”
Rafa J. Conde · 40:30

#faith#conviction#legacy#imperfection

Frameworks in this episode

Mission-First Leadership Brief

The 30/70 Guidance Rule

The Warriors Hour

Insights & moments

◆Hot Take· 2

Conde's Case for Masculine Leadership With Finesse