Forgive, Forget, Go Forward
Recover from a setback without trying to recreate the past
- Difficulty
- Moderate
- Time to result
- ~ongoing to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 99%
Storey argues that a comeback should not be treated as a go-back. After losing money, a marriage, status, or reputation, people often become consumed with restoring the exact thing they had before. That backward fixation can keep them inside the setback. His alternative is a three-part movement: forgive, forget, and go forward. Ask for forgiveness quickly, ask God for help releasing what happened, and direct energy toward what comes next. The mechanism shifts the recovery target from recreating the past to building forward momentum. It also fits Storey's broader claim that people often settle or become cemented in setbacks while a comeback is already being prepared. The framework is memorable because each stage removes a different barrier: guilt, fixation, and inertia.
Origin
Storey presented the three-part principle when asked which mindset he instils in people making a comeback on Coffeez for Closers.
Core principles
- 01A comeback is not a return to the old state
- 02Fixation on recovering what was lost keeps attention backward
- 03Forgiveness releases the immediate burden
- 04Forgetting loosens attachment to the setback
- 05Forward movement creates the comeback
How to run it
- 1
Reject the go-back goal
Notice when recovery has become an attempt to reclaim the exact money, relationship, status, or reputation that existed before.
Pro tip Name what you are trying to get back so the backward fixation becomes visible.
Watch out A comeback built only around the old state can keep you emotionally tied to the setback.
- 2
Forgive
Ask quickly for forgiveness rather than allowing guilt or grievance to harden.
Watch out Forgiveness does not remove the need to take responsibility.
- 3
Forget
Ask God for help releasing the setback and its hold on your attention.
Pro tip Treat forgetting as loosening fixation, not denying what happened.
- 4
Go forward
Choose movement toward the next version of life rather than restoration of the former one.
Pro tip Evaluate the next action by whether it creates forward momentum.
In the wild
Storey cites Charles Barkley's public description of losing millions in Las Vegas and then being unable to sleep because he felt compelled to win the money back. Storey uses this as an example of defining recovery as a return to the previous position.
→ The example exposes the backward fixation that the three-step method is designed to replace.
Common mistakes
Treating comeback as go-back
Trying to recreate the exact past keeps the lost thing at the centre of recovery.
Settling into the setback
Storey warns that people can sit, settle, or become cemented in a setback instead of moving toward a comeback.
Is it for you?
Best for
People facing loss of money, reputation, a relationship, or another former position.
Not ideal for
Situations where forgetting would mean ignoring accountability, restitution, or an unresolved safety risk.
From the transcript
“a comeback is not a Gob back a comeback is not a go back”
“you have to be quick to ask for forgiveness ask God to help you forget and ask God to help you go forward”
“forgive forget go forward that's how I roll”
From the episode
Miracle Maker Tim Storey