Curiosity Over Expectations
Replace forced outcomes with open questions about what could emerge
- Difficulty
- Easy
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 94%
Alex Kutsishin proposes replacing expectations with curiosity. His mechanism starts by noticing the predicted outcome a person is carrying into a conversation or event. Instead of trying to make that result happen, the person converts it into an open question about the most enjoyable, useful, or successful experience that could emerge. Alex applies this to the podcast conversation, borrower conversations, follow-ups, and referral relationships. He argues that expectations create stress and disappointment because they tie attention to a limited, predictable future. Curiosity keeps attention open to outcomes that past experience and imagination may not contain. The method is not passivity: it changes the stance from forcing a predetermined answer to observing what unfolds and responding to the reality that appears.
Origin
Extracted from Coffeez for Closers. Alex Kutsishin said he had recently adopted curiosity in place of expectations and demonstrated the practice with questions for podcasts, borrowers, follow-ups, and referral relationships.
Core principles
- 01Expectations narrow attention to a predicted result
- 02Curiosity leaves room for an unplanned outcome
- 03The future does not need to match the past
- 04A useful question can replace pressure to control
How to run it
- 1
Name the expectation
Identify the result you assume must happen and the pressure attached to it.
Pro tip Look for a mental script about how another person should respond.
- 2
Convert it into curiosity
Rewrite the expected result as an open question about what the best possible experience or outcome could look like.
Pro tip Start with the phrase 'I'm curious what' to keep the question genuinely open.
Watch out Do not hide the same fixed answer inside a leading question.
- 3
Release the script
Enter the conversation or event prepared to notice an outcome you did not predict. Avoid forcing the interaction back toward the original plan.
Watch out Curiosity does not remove the need to act; it removes the demand that reality follow one script.
- 4
Observe and respond
Watch what actually happens, then choose the next action from the information the situation provides.
Pro tip Use the question again whenever stress signals that an expectation has returned.
In the wild
Before sitting down, Alex asked what the most fun and enjoyable podcast experience could be like. He contrasted that with arriving under pressure to execute a plan or prove that he would perform well.
→ The question gave him an open stance toward the conversation rather than a predetermined script.
Alex suggests asking what the ultimate referral-partner relationship could look like rather than trying to manufacture a specific relationship immediately.
→ The question shifts attention from forcing a deal to discovering the relationship that is possible.
Common mistakes
Treating imagination as unlimited
Alex argues that imagination can still be constrained by remembered experience and a predictable future, so the open question must allow an unimagined answer.
Using curiosity to avoid action
The practice changes how a person approaches uncertainty; it does not require doing nothing once new information appears.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for conversations, follow-ups, relationships, and uncertain opportunities where the outcome cannot be controlled.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal as a substitute for preparation when a situation has fixed safety, legal, or operational requirements.
From the transcript
“instead of expectations live with curiosity no expectations expectations uh is what is a driver of stress um is a driver of disappointment but curiosity…”
“I'm curious what the most fun most enjoyable podcast experience can be like”
“just be curious and then Watch What Happens”
From the episode
Revolutionizing Mortgage Lending ft. Alex Kutsishin
Alex Kutsishin